Program Two : 12 Feb 2001

Jocasta: Hey! We're Back!

Guido: We made it to a second week, Jo?

Jocasta: Absolutely, Guido. And we've got a lot to talk about; lots of issues and stuff, and quite a few letters. Thanks to everyone who sent them, we'll get to all of them this week.

Guido: Of course, but firstly, since we covered the Bloggies last week, this week we're following up with a brief look at their evil twins, the Anti-Bloggies, which of course covers the territory of the oh-so-amusing reactionary riposte to the establishment awards ceremony. I thought Davezilla was above that sort of thing.

Jocasta: I take it by the tone of your voice that you weren't terribly amused...

Guido: Well, the joke fell flat for me. But still, some of the winners that went with the awards amused me; Scopi for Biggest Jerk, Born Famous for Most Depressing, and Matt Rossi reigns as Least Updated Blog.

Jocasta: Well, I think he got a life around last October.

Guido: Of course, but even while his weblog's been dead, it's rotting corpse still shows more animation than a lot of the power bloggers out there. Though at the opposite extreme, Zannah took out Most Updated Weblog.

Jocasta: Interesting; perhaps, in combination with her Best Overall gong at the Bloggies last week, it proves that one can combine quality with quantity.

Guido: She must have a lot of spare time at work though.

Jocasta: Of course.Zeldman was judged to have indulged in the most Gross Misuse Of The Patented Zeldman Orange. There's a shock.

Guido: Ahh, but Zeldman Orange is doovy! Can't beat that #cc3300 for the "arrrgh! it's gouging my eyes out!" effect.

Jocasta: Well, he doesn't set his text against it though, does he? He puts the body in a nice, safe, courteous white box and puts black text against it, as if he was Jakob Nielsen himself.

Guido: I don't think he'd quite lower himself to Nielsen's status though. Whilst Nielsen is running around getting cool paychecks telling suits that their websites should boring and uninteresting, Zeldman's out there working with the clay the web is built on, man. I know who I'd sooner listen to.

Jocasta: Anymore of the winners worth mentioning?

Guido: Well, aside from the usual suspects, there are a few roughies that probably enjoyed their place in the spotlight. It's nice to see a few new faces thrust themselves upwards from the miasma that is the weblog universe.

Jocasta: But you're not going to mention any of them here.

Guido: No, well, they're still Serie B, aren't they. And it wouldn't do to salve their egos anymore than necessary.

Jocasta: You're a snob and a hypocrite, Guido.

Guido: No, I'm just protecting the hegemony of the A-list.

Jocasta: Most of whom got laid off last month.

Guido: Err, yes. Which proves how little relation weblog success has to the real world.

Jocasta: Still, people will try and judge and quantify weblogs; Which leads us to our first question for this week:

Dear Jocasta & Guido:

Should I try to get my blog flogged by those newcomers to the metablog scene over at BlogYou, or do you think they're just another pair of toadying syncophants fellating the A-list?

Sincerely yours,
Old School B-List Boy.

Guido: Wow.

Jocasta: Well, we've both had a look at BlogYou, which styles itself as "A Consumer Guide To Blogs"; From first glance, it looks like a David and Margaret for weblogs.

Guido: Jo, our foreign audience won't grok that reference.

Jocasta: Well, Siskel and bloody Ebert then. Whichever one's still alive. The movie magic doesn't stop there, though, they've chosen Donald Sutherland as their rating icon. I'm trying to think of a film he was in I actually liked.

Guido: M*A*S*H wasn't bad.

Jocasta: Oh yeah. that was good. Much better than the TV series, it didn't have Alan Alda in it.

Guido: There's also an element of the kiss of death about them, too. We've seen at least two weblogs that have mutated since being reviewed by these guys, Haughey and Speedy Snail.

Jocasta: Still, they seem to be fairly reasonable and incisive, so at least they're doing something right.

Guido: They seem to be biting off a bit more than they chew, trying to bring sensible criticism to weblogs, especially the tens of thousands maintained by whinging teens. I mean, what can you say about most of them? "It's a blog maintained by a teenager. They whinge a lot about mean teachers, getting beaten up at high school, and getting hormonal over whitebread R&B acts. Half a star."

Jocasta: But back to the reader's question regarding submitting their site to be reviewed by these guys; I say, go for it, if you're willing to risk being rated with a less than glowing review. Their pseudo-intellectualising over vapid weblogs may seem slightly cockeyed, but judging how they treat the ones that actually warrant examination, I don't see any ill coming out of it.

Guido: Of course. And they don't really appear that sycophantic. A bit earnest, yea, but no less worthy for that.

Jocasta: You don't feel we're jumping on the bandwagon, though, being two people blathering on about weblogs?

Guido: To tell you the truth, I hadn't even heard of them until we got the letter. They've only been going a month it seems, but they've made a good start. Anyway, unlike us, I think they're real people.

Jocasta: Who says we're not real people? Do I look fake to you, Guido?

Guido: You're right. I shouldn't have said anything.

Jocasta: Well, that's one letter answered. We have a couple of other goodies left to answer, but first, Guido, you've been playing around with Greymatter this week.

Guido: Oh yes. Well, it seems like Greymatter has come out of nowhere to become a lot of people's tool of choice for maintaining their weblog.

Jocasta: I even read about it in a sidebar in the freaking Melbourne Age this week. Not to mention their withdrawn Bloggie nominations.

Guido: Basically, it's a set of Perl scripts, written by Noah Grey, which has a level of sophistication somewhere between Blogger or Newspro. and Kuro5hin's Scoop Engine or Slashcode, which is used more for full-on news and discussion sites such as Techdirt and Plastic.

Consequently, it offers up all sorts of doovy shiznat like in-built commenting and karma rating, plenty of templates and variables for every concievable function, plus diagnostic and repair facilities for when everything goes absolutely wrong.

Jocasta: Sounds like a bit of juggernaut.

Guido: Well, it seems so, the combined Perl files taking up about 500k on the server. But for something of this versatility and complexity, you'd expect that. If you're at all familiar with setting up CGI scripts under Unix and NT it's fairly easy to configure, and there's a bit of a learning curve if you want to take advantage of the advanced features, but the help documentation and online support is pretty good when you need it. Besides, if all you want to do is replace your Blogger-powered weblog or move up from hand editing the raw HTML, then it's good for that as well.

Jocasta: So you need to have access to CGI facilities on your server to use this?

Guido: Yes. So that's a drawback for those who have to pay extra for them, or for those using free services such as Geocities. Though it also means that since you're using your host machine's cycles to process the weblog files, so you don't have to rely on third party facilties to maintain it.

Jocasta: Hmm. So should I go ditching my Blogger setup?

Guido: Not necessarily; if you're happy with Blogger, and you don't need all the extra facilities Greymatter offers, then I see no reason to change. However, if you like the sound of all that Greymatter offers, or you're slightly obsessive about tweaking the little things on your blog, or if you prefer to have your WMS running on your host machine, then I'd say give it a burl.

I do have a couple of issues with it, mainly the bulk of the Perl code, and there are certainly ways of coding a custom setup in Perl or Python that aren't as heavy on the line count if you're that way inclined. Also, it seems that you want to keep more than one weblog using the code on a site, you have to copy all the files to another directory to configure uniquely. I might be wrong about this, or it may be addressed in a future version, But I don't that's an issue for most people.

However, since the program covers many different uses, and does it well, I would say that Noah Grey has produced a very, very impressive piece of code. I think there's going to be a lot of people adopting it as their solution this year, and with good reason. Two thumbs up from me.

Jocasta: So you're basically saying Greymatter is a good thing.

Guido: A very good thing.

Jocasta: OK! I think it's time for our next reader question, and it's another one from JC!

Guido: Ahh, the second coming.

Jocasta: Him again. Well, he's been good to us so far with questions and that. He's given us a doozy this week...

Dear Jocasta and Guido,

Is it better to establish a definitive focus to your weblog, such as technology issues, politics or personal journaling; or is it better to just write about whatever strikes your fancy at any given moment? Obviously the pat answer is, do it for yourself -- whatever turns you on -- but, which methodology is most likely to attract repeat visitors?

JC

Guido: Ooh crikeys. What a good question. OK, let me think... the crux of the question is, how do you keep punters coming back for more? Good links? Incisive analysis? Interesting writing? Giving a sense of personality? Eyecatching design?

Jocasta: Would it be wrong to suggest that a tight focus is less likely to attract a wide audience, but more likely to gain repeat visits from those that do?

Guido: Well, certainly, if you have some knowledge about your field and you express it well. It may even be that the writing is compelling enough to attract the attention of even those who mightn't normally share your interest. I might take the example of old hand, peterme.com; his writing is compelling and he has a good grounding in his field of choice, and he often offers up his own insights to go with the sites he points to.

Jocasta: So good writing is a must.

Guido: Not necessarily, but it helps. It is enough to be considered a source of good or interesting links, such as Robot Wisdom or Memepool, even if you don't often adorn them with your opinion. But certainly, if you have both, that's got to be a great help.

Jocasta: So good links are a must?

Guido: Ahh, but you don't even need many of those; if your writing is good enough, your weblog may become as much a final destination as a point on a journey, if you'll allow a bad analogy. Of course, the less links, the technically becomes more of a journal, but if you don't mind the thing being neither fish nor flesh, then it's not an issue.

Jocasta: Well, searching fo fresh links is at least as time-consuming for a lot of people as writing the commentary to go with them. Even though some people bemoan the scourge of the "via trail" as weblogs have risen to prominence, if a link has caught your interest and you feel the need to comment, why not? Why let someone's precious notion of weblogging purity stop you from posting links that fall within your charter, just because you found it on another weblog rather than through a search engine or a web directory or a mailing list? In fact, if your concern is taking note of every site that falls within your interest, it would be somewhat strange not to point it out.

Guido: And I'd also add "whatever takes your fancy" is a sort of charter as well, even if it does open you up to charges of dilettantism. It certainly doesn't guarantee repeat visits. The final, definitive, copout answer, is "whatever you do, do it well, and hope that someone will notice".

Jocasta: What if you do it well and no-one notices?

Guido: Well, in that case, you might have to indulge in the demeaning practice of the hustle. But if your blog is any good, people generally don't mind being informed that it exists, they might well be quite interested in it. Just don't bug the heck out of them.

Jocasta: Ahhh, well, your milage may vary there. Pick your targets well, I say. You might even want to send them an Anti-Valentines card.

Guido: Oh, nice segue. I take it you're done your homework for the clinic this wekk.

Jocasta: Yep! Wednesday is Valentines Day of course, and even the cynical amongst us are well catered for with the following sources of less-than-delightful expressions of l'amour.

Guido: How delightful!

Jocasta: Err, yeah. Anyway, a couple of sets from the London Firm, firstly Dave and Meg's v.d. cards [say it with bile] collection, some sinister in their seeming innocence, some with a bit of britnoir, and some that are just plain cracked.

Guido: Half of them look like Morrissey record covers.

Jocasta: Of course! Perfect for doomed relationships, I suppose. And then there's the set their associate Tom of Plasticbag has been flogging, the timeout.com selection: Not as much choice with just four, but they're every bit as sarcastic as the VD set.

Guido: Oh yes, very stylish.

Jocasta: And finally, Orbyn's Season's Cretins, heart candies emblazoned with messages which, well, you're starting to get the point.

Guido: How freakingly bodacious!

Jocasta: And I won't be sending any to you, you great big lump.

Guido: Oh. Bugger. Well, I wasn't sending any to you, either.

Jocasta: That's a tragedy.

Guido: We have one more question.

Jocasta: Fire away...

why is werzil gumadge on tv anymore?

Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse

Jocasta: Huh?

Guido: I think they meant "isn't" rather than "is", and I would've corrected the spelling mistake, except I don't know how Wurzel Grummidge was spelt either, so I've probably got it wrong too. But it's presumably because Daria or other such postmodern-like kids fare has gained favour over people who hang around garbage dumps has taken their place.

Jocasta: I dunno, they've updated the Wombles, haven't they?

Guido: They have? Heh. Someone should adapt the Borribles for TV.

Jocasta: What ever happened to Grange Hill?

Guido: I don't know, I think they're all writing for The Bill these days.

Jocasta: Oh, very nice.

Guido: Anyway, Catweasel was better, anyway...

Jocasta: Yes, well. As it is, we've made it to the end of another show; it's time to wrap it up. Guido, give them the drum on how to send stuff in for us to dissect in public!

Guido: Of course. Fire off your dilemmas to clinic@grudnuk.com, anonymity assured. We'll gladly dub you with a silly nom-de-plume if you don't specify one yourself.

Jocasta: Next week, we don't know what the hell we're doing, but I sure something interesting will come up.

Guido: As will happen, this crazy scene never sitting still.

Jocasta: And with that, it's goodbye from us until next week.

Guido: Goodbyeeee!

last week on weblog clinic :
Hard Times at Pyra, The Requisite Inane Discussion About The Bloggies, Low Level Course Language, Our First Answer Falls Flat In The Witticism Stakes, Much Ado About The Colour Purple Where We Pretend To Know Everything About Netscape-Safe Colours, and Kottke's Not-Quite-Fan Mail.